an exercise in satire? included with tangent about Napoleon, &c.

I thought of doing my IB French take home exam. But the thought of it made my mind go numb so I stopped. -_- Now I am delaying working on The Research Paper and feeling rather disinclined to remember that school exists at all. The only thing that can make The Research Paper bearable is hot chocolate and background music, but even with these welcome additions, the Thing looms like some sort of warring beast (weapon of choice, the papercut). Oh, blast, I just made it look even more disagreeable. I could also think about how free it will feel to have it done, but then when it is done I never feel accomplished for having done it, just glad that I don't have to do it anymore. I guess I don't like it because doing it doesn't make me feel like I've done anything. How much longer do you think I can rant before I'll have to open up a new document in MS Word and come up with a thesis statement? Not much longer? Oh, you doubt my abilities to conjure tangents from midair. Here's one that has nothing at all to do with the topic at hand:

For example, a while ago, I read Napoleon's loveletters to Josephine, and there was this one that I liked best, when the couple was having a fight. Apparently Josephine had in her last letter called Napoleon "vous", which is the French formal form of "you", used to be polite to strangers etc. Such an intimate relation as husband and wife would usually call for an informal "tu". And Napoleon went into a rage about it, exclaiming things like, "Vous! You call me vous!!!!!" which it was very interesting to read because, while lovers do not enjoy their quarrels, such disputes usually do look quite amusing to speculators.

Now that I've got that down, back to It. (The Research P.) Oh what a beautiful sunset outside - seriously. But I had to keep my topic, Religion and Science, because I did not and do not feel up to doing a whole new outline for a new topic, and finding sources from square one. But I'm still tired of the topic because it is so tiring all these people arguing about what God looks like and whether evolution is the end of us and such foolish things. Hum. If I could find a new "angle" on it then it might be bearable, but what could that angle be? I'm definitely not going to talk about Evolution versus Creationism and whatnot because it is so overexposed that hearing about it is like being whacked over the head repeatedly with a soup-tureen. But I really am glad that I've got to such a point that hearing about Evolution no longer worries me. It used to be that it would send me into a tailspin of doubts but now things are dandy and I just know a secret that makes the doubts I used to have look even funny.

Maybe the only way I can plod through this paper is by laughing at it. Maybe I will contrive to write it in such a way that it seems like one big private joke (but of course the teacher cannot know this). Maybe I can even turn it into a literary experiment or pretend that writing it I am some eccentric professor living in a tower writing a glimmeringly funny discourse on... What?! I think this is the only way. I must turn it into a creative exercise in gentle satire. Not the biting kind because that is not friendly and I cannot write something so unfriendly - but the funny, gently chiding kind that I like quite a bit. Ha! What a funny way to write a research paper. But the only way that will do to make it anything other than a mild form of mental torture. Suggestions very welcome on such an unusual enterprise. ;)