nobody knows! [but that is plenty all right]

[dark. something stumbles into view -]

CONFLICT!

[tiny spotlight. it starts spinning around.]

Whew. Dizzy.

[fall]

[from the floor, a voice]

Heyyy there.

[dim spotlight. the something is revealed to be a PLATYPUS.]

Platypus: The meaning of life is afoot!

Audience: Whoa.

Platypus: Do YOU know what it is?

Ushers: NO.

Musicians: Tell us.

Director: Tell me at least.

Platypus: Nope.

[there is a riot in the audience]

[platypus stands up, dizzily]

Platypus: It would be fun to watch from behind the curtain -

[shouts and screams are heard from the audience, and an occasional thud]

Platypus: - But I can't go back. They told me to come onto the stage. Didn't you tell me?

Director: YES! Stay there. No! Stay there.

Platypus: [glances back at curtain, steps toward the edge of the stage] Hey out there!!!

Guy from audience: Shut up, we're being aggressive.

Platypus: Line?

Director: The meaning of life is afoot!

Platypus: No, next line?

Director: That's it. That's the end of the play.

Platypus: It is? What kind of bad writer ended a play like that?

Director: It had to end like that. But it doesn't mean the play is over.

Platypus: Hey you guys!!!

Audience: [fighting]

Platypus: SHUT UP!!!!

Audience: [rioting]

Platypus: Um. Um... Free pastries at the reception!!!

Audience: [silent] .... [files amiably out the back doors, chatting about turnovers and cinnamon rolls]

[house lights come on]

[Platypus stares over the ruined seats of the auditorium]

Platypus: What the hell was that?

Director: Act IV, scene 5.

Platypus: No I mean -

Director: Nobody knows.

Platypus: Oh. Yeah. I don't know. I got too caught up in the play.

Director: You're an okay actress.

Platypus: Huh. Well. I'm going to get some hot cocoa at the reception.

Director: Watch out for the audience.

Platypus: They're okay really. Just don't talk to them about the meaning of life. It's dangerous.